Coach Random #216
Tuesday, March 25, 2003
Drawn: ???
JD Kraaikamp: Zinger! On December 5, 2007, I got the back story from someone who followed the comic online.
Random Informant: In February 2003 I e-mailed the joke pasted below to Scott Ruhl and told him that I loved his comic strip and that I thought this joke might be right up his alley. He wrote back to say that he loved it and the end result was the strip in question. He had to tinker with it a bit because the editors wouldn't let him say "asshole" in the paper.
Rectum Stretcher
While I was "flying" down the road yesterday (i.e., 10 mph over the limit), I passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side laying in wait. The cop pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's your hurry?"
To which I replied, "I'm late for work."
"Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?"
"I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded.
The cop stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"
"Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in I work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then, I slowly but surely stretch, until it's about 6 foot wide."
"And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?", asked the cop.
To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."
Traffic Ticket: $95.00
Court Costs: $45.00
The Look on that Cop's Face: PRICELESS ! ! !